Purpose in Life
by Lilyevansmrspotter
Summary: "Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it." Gautama Buddha
1. Chapter 1

It all started when my brother shoved me. We were at the train station waiting for our train to take us to our aunt living in a small town in Devon. The war was still raging on and our mother decided to send my older brother, Alexander, and I away to avoid it.

I was sixteen and my brother was seventeen. I think that he was going to enlist in the army the moment he turned eighteen. Mother forbade him to, because that's how we lost our father, at war, but I think he was going to anyway.

As for me, I had no idea what I wanted in life. I was bookworm of the two of us; always choosing the library over a game of ball my hair was a bright ginger color, which stood out especially in the gloomy streets of London. Freckles dotted my face, making my pale ivory skin stick out more. The only feature I loved about myself were my eyes. A bright teal surrounded my pupil, which then spread across the rest of the cerulean color of my iris, creating the effect light hitting water. My father had always said they were the most beautiful eyes on the planet.

Anyways, my brother and I were at the station waiting when he met up with his friends. I had always been uneasy around them, for they were loud, obnoxious, disgusting prats. And my brother became like them whenever he was in their vicinity. As they sauntered towards my brother and I, jostling and shoving each other, I felt the need to stay away from them. I excused myself to the loo.

They jeered and catcalled me as I walked past. I didn't expect my brother to stand up for me or anything, but I didn't expect him to lead the taunting. I couldn't stand this cruel side of him any longer.

"Alex, stop this! Why must you be so insecure and act like a prick whenever you're with your group of so-called-friends?"

"I'm not insecure, Lily, maybe its you. You were always father's favorite, and now, without him here to stroke your ego for you it's crumbled into the insecurities of a little girl!" he returned spitefully.

"That is not true!" I screamed now standing nose to nose with him. "Who was it, that when you failed your English exam showed you all the things you were good at? Who told you that you could be anything you set your mind to? Our father loved you, but you were too busy skulking around in jealousy to see it!"

Alex let out an enraged yell and pushed me backwards, away from him. I stumbled back and tripped over my trunk strewn carelessly on the ground. My arms wind milled in the air and for a second, time froze. My brother's eyes had widened in alarm and he was just about to reach forward, as if to catch me. The lights of the incoming train flashed and its loud whistle echoed in my ears. As it thundered into the station, I toppled out onto the tracks.

Someone let out a shrill, high-pitched scream of terror and I realized it was me. "Alex! Help m-"

Screeching brakes, metal grinding on metal, but it was too late. The last I saw was my brother being held back by guards, screaming, and his face full of anguish. And the last I heard, above the sound of panic and oncoming death, was the roar of a lion.

"What is she?"

"Who is she?"

"Everybody keep your muzzles back, she might be dangerous!"

Three things occurred to me at once. One, my ears worked. Two, my heart still was pounding away in my chest. And three, I was still alive.

By some miraculous event, I had survived the train plowing into me like a metal wall going fifty miles an hour. That was impossible. If the impact hadn't killed me, then surely I would've been crushed beneath its wheels. There was no way I was alive.

I slowly opened my eyes and nearly passed out again. Instead of the faces of humans surrounding my bed, I was surrounded by a pack of wolves. A soft whimper left my lips and I shut my eyes tightly as I could, becoming as still as a statue.

"Wint, back up. I think you're scaring her."

"Oh, so now I'm the scary one? You know, for being my identical litter mate you sure are making it seem as if I'm always the big bad wolf."

The first wolf sighed. "Where ever did you hear the term 'big bad wolf'? Have you been listening to that infernal feline of Queen Lucy's?"

"Of course not!" The second voice scoffed.

"Shut your muzzles, the lot of you!" A third voice barked. This was definitely the leader of the group.

"Open your eyes, girl," he commanded.

I swallowed my lump of fear that was threatening to break into a scream of terror. Great, so I had died in England just to be forced to spend my eternity with giant wolves that could talk?

Slowly and cautiously I cracked one eye open. The room swam into focus and I counted four wolves surrounding me. My hands were shaking as I tried to ease my fright. I read that wolves could smell fear.

"It is alright, Daughter of Eve. We will not hurt you unless our King commands it." The leader of the pack attempted to speak (or was it bark?) reassuringly.

Oh, that's gonna make me feel so much more relieved, I thought sarcastically to myself. I had to bite my lip to prevent from saying this out loud. I wasn't sure how these wolves would take sarcasm.

"Do you speak?" He was now addressing me directly.

A witty response was on the tip of my tongue, but all that came out was "Uuughhhnn-ahh."

I felt lightheaded again and all of a sudden a wave of nausea hit me. I rolled over and threw up right over the edge of the bed. The wolf that was standing there yelped and leapt back as my vomit spattered on the floor.

My vision blurred and soon enough the world around me faded into pitch black. But I was not alone in my dreams, for the Lion accompanied me.


	2. Chapter 2

I dreamed I was in a forest. But this was unlike any other forest I had been in. These trees danced and whispered in the breeze. Not in a figurative way, literally. Standing on a large rock in the middle of a clearing was the Lion.

His golden mane swirled around his majestic head, as the wind seemed to caress his face. He was waiting for me. I kept walking towards him. When I got to him, I wasn't sure what to do. So I gave him an abrupt little bow.

"Dear, sweet Lily, you must be wondering many things. You are a curious young lady, and while curiosity is not an abomination, it must be exercised with caution. And I find that you humans learn best from their mistakes," he must have sensed my confusion but didn't elaborate. "In time, you will understand."

"W-who are you?" I asked timidly.

"I am Aslan."

"Where am I? Why didn't I die? How did I get here? Why do all the animals talk here?" The questions tumbled out of my lips. "How do I get back? How is Alexander? When is this? Is this a dream? Is this heaven? Am I d-dead?"

He let out a deep chuckle. "You are in Narnia. And I brought you here. However, I do not believe you will ever be able to return to your old home. In that world, you have already perished."

Although it was not entirely unexpected, I felt myself choke up a little. However much my brother infuriated me, I loved him very much. And my poor mother, who had already suffered the loss of her husband, would be devastated. Tears pricked at my eyes.

"Do not weep, child. Your family will live. Though they miss you dearly, they will only remember the life you lived, not the life you lost. But I brought you here for a specific reason. In time, you will also learn this purpose, and it may not be entirely what you think. You will have to choose how you live your life here. When you wake, you will only remember parts of this conversation, but know that I will always be there with you in spirit."

More questions burned my tongue, but before I could utter them, Aslan breathed on my face, and the world swirled out of focus once again.

When I awoke, I was lying on the same bed, but the sheets had been pulled up to my chin, and a fire burned in the fireplace. No wolves surrounded me this time, but a beaver was puttering around at the stove. Groggily, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I tried to remember the dream I had but it was already slipping away, and remembering was like trying to catch water with my bare hands.

"Oh, hello there dearie, I see you have awoken. How are you feeling?" the beaver asked me.

"F-fine, thank you," I replied with only a slight waver in my voice. I was starting to get used to this whole taking animals thing.

"Here you go," she handed me a bowl of soup, "drink it up while it's still hot. You'll need the energy, Maugrim plans on bringing you up to Their Majesties as soon as you finish."

Before I could argue, she stuck the spoon in my mouth. The soup burned my throat but it left a warm feeling in my stomach. Almost instantly I felt rejuvenated. I voraciously gulped down the rest of the soup and the fire added a rosy stain to my cheeks.

The door opened and a wolf stuck his head in. I recognized him as the leader.

"Good, you're up," he briskly regarded me. "Now, we must go see King Edmund, for I must report my perimeter check. Apparently that includes you, so let's go."

"Go on then," Mrs. Beaver pushed me out the door.

I stooped low to exit the door and glanced back. Mrs. Beaver waved at me and I mustered a small smile. Then the wolves surrounded me in a tight pack and ushered me into the woods.

These trees were like the ones in my dream. They danced and whispered with each other. Small forest animals stopped to watch us pass. Most of them talked. After a while, my feet burned and I was sweating profusely. The wolf behind me nudged me with his nose, right on my bum and I yelped, swatting his muzzle away.

"Hey! Paws to yourself, buddy!" I snapped at him.

"I don't get it! Why do humans overreact when I give them a little push in the right direction?" he asked no one in particular.

"Because, Wint, they are sensitive, especially the females, when you touch them in the behind." His sister (I guessed, she seemed pretty used to having to explain things to him) sighed.

"Oh…" he frowned his furry face.

If I wasn't so tightly strung and physically exhausted, I might have found this all very comical, but I couldn't find the energy to laugh. By nightfall, we came upon a ginormous castle. It took my breath away. Well, what remaining breath I had from running so long.

"Cair Paravel," Maugrim, the pack leader growled, noticing my astonishment.

We entered the throne room, and I saw four thrones. Sitting on the four thrones were children! I expected some old king with a long grey beard and a fuzzy purple robe, but instead, they were all around my age. The oldest looked barely twenty, and the youngest at a mere age of fifteen or so. The oldest had blonde hair and was dressed in a deep blue tunic with the same colored cape. The elder girl had beautiful chocolate colored curls and was in a light blue colored dress. The younger boy had dark hair and dark eyes and had on a tunic and cape like his brother, but he was dressed in silver. Finally, the youngest girl had on a deep red dress with long flowing sleeves. She like her brother and sister had brown hair.

They rose at once when the saw me enter. Maugrim kneeled before them. "Your Majesties, I found this Daughter of Eve as I was patrolling the Western Wood."

"Thank you, Maugrim," the eldest said, clearly dismissing him. The wolf looked to the dark haired brother for confirmation, and when he nodded, Maugrim gave one last deep bow and backed out of the room.

All four of them approached me. The oldest with calm bearings of a leader, the older girl with sharp, calculating eyes. The younger boy watched me with narrowed distrusting eyes. And the youngest looked at me with only kindness and welcome.

"High King Peter," the oldest introduced himself. Was I supposed to bow? Curtsy? I just gave him a jerky little bow, as if I were having a spasm attack, and his younger brother snorted. I straightened quickly and shot a glare in his direction.

"Queen Susan," the oldest girl with beautiful chocolate curls curtsied gracefully. I gave a tiny little curtsy, trying to mimic her, but trying not to fall flat on my face and provoke more sniggering from the rude boy.

"King Edmund," he sniffed and merely nodded in my direction. I felt the need to not acknowledge him. He was arrogant and rude and I did not take a liking to him at all.

"I'm Queen Lucy, but just Lucy's fine," the youngest introduced with barely concealed excitement. She looked to be about thirteen or fourteen, but still held the innocence of a nine year old.

"I'm Lily Collier, um from London." I stammered, seeing as I didn't have a title. That was well said I scolded myself inwardly, as their eyebrows rose in unison.

"From London, England?" Peter asked incredulously.

"Um, yeah, but I've never heard of Narnia before," I answered apologetically.

"But we're from around London too!" Lucy burst out.

I did a double take. What? So did that mean I wasn't the first to just die and stumble into this land?

"How did you all die then?" I blurted out, and cringed. These people were royalty! You cannot just go around asking how they died in a different world! I berated myself.

"Die?" Susan inquired. "We didn't die. I don't remember much but I do remember stumbling into Narnia."

"Wardrobe," Edmund muttered, clearly not wanting to talk about this. What was his problem?

"So you guys didn't die to come here?" I asked suddenly feeling sick to my stomach again.

"No, didn't we just say we came by a magical wardrobe?" Edmund snapped. Peter thumped him on the chest and shot him a warning look.

"How did you come to Narnia?" Lucy curiously wondered.

"I-I died." I stared at the polished floors. "Excuse me, your majesties, with all due respect I don't feel the best, and I was wondering where I might find a village somewhere or something to rest."

"Of course," Peter nodded.

"But you can stay with us! I haven't had a friend besides these three to talk to in ages!" Lucy pleaded. "Oh please, Peter, please."

She looked up at him with wide eyes and I could see Peter's resistance crumbling. "Alright then, Lu."

Lucy's eyes lit up, and Edmund just rolled his. That boy really had some attitude issues. But Lucy ignored him and just pulled at my sleeves tugging me insistently out of the room.

Sunlight burst into the room and someone opened up the window, letting the sound of birds singing filter through. I grumbled and pressed my face further into my satin pillow. Wait, since when did I have a satin pillow?

The events rushed back to me like water breaking through a dam and I sat straight up. A girl with pale green skin was tidying up the room.

"Good morning!" she chirped cheerily. "Their majesties await you in the dining hall."

"Erm, good morning," I replied nervously. Her pale green skin seemed to emit an earthly glow. I bit my tongue, as I was about to ask her what she was, but I was afraid of offending her.

I slid out of the sheets and walked towards the bathroom. After I had washed up and had deemed myself somewhat worthy of being in the presence of royalty, I walked back into my bedchambers. The green girl had already made my bed and there was a fresh vase of roses sitting on the bedside table. She had flitted to my side and was smiling prettily at me,

"Hello there, my name is Rose and I will be your maiden in waiting for the time being." Rose was a fitting name for her as she smelled like roses, had the elegant beauty of a rose and left little rose petals wherever she walked.

"I-I'm Lily, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you?" I asked curiously.

"I am a naiad," she stated, I had no idea what a naiad was.

"Alright then, Rose the naiad, what am I supposed to do today?" I questioned with barely concealed excitement.

"Well, you are first to dine with their royal majesties, and then you are free to do whatever you wish."

"Brilliant," I breathed. There was bound to be someone around this huge castle that would know how to somehow get me back to my world.

Rose escorted me to the dining hall and paused right outside the massive doors. "This is as far as I can go,"

I looked at her, alarmed. "You aren't coming in with me?" as asked nervously.

She shook her head. "But, you're my only friend here!" I blurted out. Then quickly blushed, "I-I mean…that is-"

"Of course I'm your friend. And I'm sure Queen Lucy is eager to befriend you as well. Of course, King Peter is a little busy, but he will be nothing but gracious to you, Queen Susan may be a little intimidating, but everyone knows she loves a little fun every now and then. And King Edmund-"

I cut her off, "He hates me," I muttered.

Rose smiled kindly, "He does not, and he has just had a rough time here that's all. His story is much more different then that of his siblings. But he'll come around, do not worry."

I grimaced at her and she let out a tinkling laugh. "Go on then," she gave me a slight push through the doors. I glanced back at her one last time, but she just winked and popped out of sight leaving only a pale pink rose petal to float down to the ground where she was just standing. I took a deep breath and turned back around and instantly blushed.

Everyone was staring at me. King Peter, Queen Susan, and Lucy all had varying degrees of amusement written on their faces. Kind Edmund however just gave a disapproving sniff in my direction and returned to his toast. Toast! They had toast in Narnia! I thought gleefully. My stomach gave an almighty rumble and I blushed to the roots of my bright ginger hair. God, that was so embarrassing.

Lucy smiled brightly and gestured to the seat next to her. "Come sit by me, Lily!"

I felt my cheeks still burning as I slid into the seat next to her, right across from Edmund. I internally groaned. I didn't want him to be glaring at me the entire time I tried to enjoy my toast.

"So how did you sleep, Lady Lily?" King Peter asked with a kind smile.

"Lovely, thank you very much," I said as politely as I could.

"Thank Aslan," Lucy laughed, "You looked pretty sick when I last saw you."

Aslan, his name was familiar. "Who is Aslan?"

The table went quiet. "He's a lion." Lucy replied solemnly. "And he created Narnia."

If he created Narnia, there must be a way for him to send me back. "Where can I find him?" I asked bluntly.

Once again the table was silent. "He only comes when Narnia is in great need."

It was Edmund this time that answered. I met his eyes and was startled to see that they weren't the cold black eyes I'd imagined. This was the first time I had seen the emotion etched in those onyx orbs. There was thankfulness and a little guilt laced in his words. This boy was very…interesting. And I wanted to know more about him.

"When was the last time he was here then?"

"He hasn't been back for seven years," Lucy replied sadly. Her eyes glittered with tears.

"Oh," was all I could think of to respond. My heart sank deep into my stomach. "Why did he appear to me in a dream then?"

"You had a dream of Aslan?" Susan asked sharply.

"Yes,"

"What did he say?" Lucy stared at me with hope shining clearly in her warm eyes.

"I-I don't remember," I answered thickly. "I think he told me I died, and that I had a purpose for being here."

Peter nodded thoughtfully. "Aslan knows what he is doing. Even though we might not have the foggiest idea, it all turns out right in the end."

I lifted the corners of my lips in thankfulness. "Thank you, your majesties for allowing me to stay with you. I promise not to be a burden, I can work if you like, I-I mean I can cook, I've been cooking for my family since me dad-" my throat constricted, and I blinked back tears furiously.

Lucy shot me a sympathetic glance as if guessing what was currently going through me head. She patted me on the back, "Of course we would help you. We wouldn't just let you starve on the streets would we?" She added on afterthought, "and you will not work either."

I began to protest, but she cut me off, "Fine then, your job is to be my friend. Aslan knows these three bore me to death with their books and strategies and whatnot." She rolled her eyes.

"Lucy, you still have to learn," Susan chided. "Although I would love to give you a tour of Cair Paravel, I have a ball to keep planning."

"And I have to meet with the Archenland ambassador," Peter sighed wearily.

They all turned to Edmund who froze. I would have laughed at his comical expression of disbelief if I hadn't realized that I would have to spend the day with him. "I-I have to-give Phillip a bath." He stuttered. Peter snorted and Lucy glared at him, when he caught sight of this he quickly muttered, "But I suppose that can wait."

Lucy gave a brilliant smile, and I stifled a laugh, she obviously had all her siblings wrapped around her little finger. I thought wistfully at the times when Alex and I were as close as the Pevensies.

"Then it's settled then Edmund will give Lily a tour of the castle." Peter confirmed and smirked as he caught us both giving huffs of irritation.

A/N: Disclaimer: All characters you recognize belong to C.S. Lewis. 


	3. Chapter 3

"So…how old are you?" I asked attempting to keep our conversation flowing. Not that we were talking much anyways.

"Seventeen." Edmund answered stiffly.

"Okay," And that was as deep as our conversation went.

"This is the archery range," he pointed at the field of green grass with targets all lined up in a row. "And this is the armory," He nodded towards the building that was to the right of the archery range. "Do you know how to handle a sword?" He asked after a moment's hesitation.

"No," I answered quietly. "Mum never let us around anything that reminded her of how dad died."

"What year is it?" he asked. "Back on Earth."

"1940." I responded.

"Oh," was all he said after a long pause.

"Was your dad in the war?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," I swallowed.

"Mine too," he confided. I looked up at him, surprised that he revealed this little piece of information. Our eyes met once more and once more I saw sadness riddled with guilt. He blinked and all emotion was wiped clear of his face once more. I blushed and turned around trying to look anywhere but him. Thankfully, at that moment, Lucy chose to appear. She ran down from the castle and looked just about ready to burst with excitement.

"Susan let me finish early!" she exclaimed. "Now I can take over and show you everything else!"

"That's alright, we were just finishing." I spoke up. Edmund was refusing to look at me. Lucy gave us a curious glance, but when neither of us spoke up, she shrugged and led me back up to the castle.

"What happened out there?" She asked the second Edmund was out of earshot.

"Edmund showed me the archery range and the armory." I evaded the actual question, although I didn't know why. It seemed like just a moment between me and him, and not something that I should be divulging to everyone.

"I meant between you and Edmund." Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Nothing," I answered, trying not to give anything away.

"He wasn't being rude was he?" Lucy narrowed her eyes.

"No no we were just talking," I quickly covered up.

"Fine, don't tell me." Lucy sniffed. "But I should tell you, there's a ball coming up, and I expect you to go."

"What?" I blanched. Dancing was not my thing. "But Lucy, I have not been here very long, I do not want to be an intruder."

"Of course you won't," Lucy rolled her eyes again. "Besides, I need a friend, all of the other princesses just talk about boys and dresses."

She pouted, sticking out her bottom lip and widened her bright eyes. I simultaneously groaned and laughed. Now I knew why Peter was always unable to say no.

"Stop it! I can't think when you're giving me that face!" I mock glared when she let out a giggle.

"You know you want to go…" she swayed back and forth turning her pout on to full power.

"Bloody hell I must be mad. Alright, I'll go! But I should warm you, I cannot dance to save my life."

All she did was laugh in excitement.

The next few days were…enjoyable to say the least. I found myself constantly revisiting the library for new books. There were so many! I read about the history of Narnia, Narnian tales, and there were even classic books that I loved from back home in England.

I missed home greatly. Every night I would lie awake, thinking about how Alex and Mum were doing. I didn't want mum to cry, although she probably did. If I could say anything to them right now, it would be that it wasn't their fault. I knew Alex would beat himself up and blame himself for it. Besides, to me, it was only an accident. But knowing that didn't stop me from wishing I could go back in time and reverse everything that happened. However after everything I had seen and done in Narnia, I was becoming quite attached to this other world. Although I was still reluctant about going to the ball.

Apparently Lucy had relayed the news that I couldn't dance to Susan, who then insisted I take dance lessons. The poor instructor had his feet absolutely demolished at the first lesson. But by the third, I was getting better. I could dance and not stomp on his feet every two seconds. He kept telling me to look up and relax but I every time I did that I tripped and had to start all over again.

"Lady Lily, look up. You cannot break eye contact with your partner!" Susan chided from the side.

I looked up and stumbled. Susan sighed, and someone was laughing. My head snapped to the side and I saw none other than Kind Edmund himself standing there laughing his stupid arse off. I grumbled to myself as the music started again and I returned my eyes to my feet.

"Edmund there you are!" Susan rose gracefully from where she was sitting. "Lily is just as horrible at dancing as you are!" She laughed so I could tell it was a joke. Partially.

I blushed from where I was dancing and tripped again. "Edmund why don't you go help here out? And give Pierre a little break there."

"More like my toes," my dance instructor, Pierre, winked at me. I sighed and ceased my dancing.

Edmund sobered up immediately. "N-no, that's alright, I think I'll just watch." He backed up with his hands up in a pleading gesture.

"Go, Edmund, Aslan knows you need to learn just as much as Lily." Susan commanded.

He scowled and approached my warily. "Queen Susan, can't I have a break?" I tried not to whine. It was humiliating enough to have to dance with Pierre, but now I was supposed to dance with a king? No thank you.

"Just one dance," Susan's tone signaled this was all she was willing to bargain. "Besides, I think you two would look lovely dancing together."

Edmund and I both glared at her, and she let out a tinkling laugh. "Just joking!"

With my eyebrows furrowed, I turned to Edmund. He bowed and offered me his hand. I took it cautiously as the music swelled around us. "I should tell you, I am a fantastic dancer," He said mock seriously.

"I'm sure," I replied dryly wincing when he stepped on my toes.

"Whoops," he whispered. My eyes widened. Did he step on my toes purposely? I glared and made sure to stomp on his feet extra hard, and watched in satisfaction as his eyes watered.

As the song came to an end, he dipped me. But I was caught completely off guard as he lowered me. My foot slipped and I slipped out of his arms and landed with a thud on the hard ground. His eyes widened in shock and his mouth parted hilariously to the side. I couldn't help it, and burst out laughing. It wasn't long before he joined me, we laughed until we were both clutching a stitch in our sides and tears rolling down our cheeks. I smiled a genuine smile. Maybe this "dark king" wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
